I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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