Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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