i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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