my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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