That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
we should paint friendship bongs
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