it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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