I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
