I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
