So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
