fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
