How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
