That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
