He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
