Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I looked at my own cervix.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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