I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
