Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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