How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
