Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Blood and glitter go together right?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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