No awkward lesbian experiences without me
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
two words: eviction party
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
