i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
