I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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