I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
