I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
