I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
