think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Houston, we have a squirter
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
