Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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