Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
