also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
