I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
