Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
