just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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