the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
