did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
