i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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