I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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