He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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