sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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