At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
