it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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