ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
