no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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