I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize