so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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