worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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