Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
