At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
