I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My penis needs a shock collar
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize