i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
