He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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