Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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