You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize