i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize