is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i think i have two assholes
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
