We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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