just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
