Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
These tits shall not be calmed
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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