Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
