My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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