He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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