I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
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