If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
