Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
