it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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